Okay all you moms that read my blog...I need some advice. How do you deal with whining? It drives me nuts and Ben is the biggest whiner ever. I know that he does it because he must be getting a reaction out of me, but how do I stop it (or at least lessen it significantly?) He is just loud and passionate by nature, but it's driving me nutty. Any advice, PLEASE???
Saturday, November 17, 2007
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7 comments:
Duct tape.
Ignore ignore ignore!
I don't have any advice for you but I just keep thinking of you and waiting for Monday... write a post or call me or email or something after he talks to the detailer. We are really hoping for you!!!
Geesh, I have been wondering that too lately, myself. Ignoring doesn't help. Just makes it worse and louder!!! Help me if you fid out ok?
When my kids whine, I say, "What Malia? I am so sorry but I cannot understand you! What? Try again...I cannot understand whine." I just keep saying what until they change their tone and use big kid words, tone and manners. I started it when the kids were too young to understand me. They know that I will not truly respond to them until they ask in the right way. It doesn't mean that they get what they want but I will at least listen. The key to this method is you have to be sincere. They need to really believe that you cannot understand them. It also works great with reminding your kids to use good manners words like please, thank-you, pardon me, and excuse me. At least it works for me.
Your you could resort to "it's just me"'s advice and use duct tape. Equally effective;)
Ok. I guess I'll get serious - though if the duct tape works for anyone I'd be up to hear about it!
The thing that we do - which is similar to 'aaronalita' is we use our 'listening ears'. This works great for whining and for not listening.
If Will (he's into whining too) starts in on something I tell him that my listening ears cannot hear him until he uses his big boy voice or big boy words.
If he isn't listening I ask him to turn his listening ears on. Sometimes it makes it really fun too because he'll actually act like he's turning something on inside his ears.
One of my favorite parenting books is 'Positive Discipline'. She (Dr. Nelsen) says that 'Children do what works. If your child is whining, he or she is getting a response from.' She suggests three things (the 3rd one is a little too advanced for us right now):
1) Every time your kid whines, take him/her on your lap and hug them. Don't acknowledge the whining just hug until you both feel better. (This works for kids who are whining for attention)
2) Let your child know that you love him but you can't stand whining. Tell him/her that if he whines you'll leave the room. Then do just that - even locking the door behind you if you need to (if they follow). Don't say a word - just follow through on what you've already said.
3) Address the problem and suggest that it gets put on the family-meeting agenda for the next time to work out a solution.
Good luck - really. I know, as in right NOW, what this is like.
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